Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Man Buys Giant Church Organ, Doesn't Know Where to Put

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HAMDEN, Connecticut— Local man, Johnson Malone, bought a grand church organ for his small Connecticut home last Wednesday. The organ, which...
Friday, August 17, 2012

50 Cent Surprised to Have Net Worth of $100 Million

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Today rapper 50 Cent was surprised to discover his net worth is close to 100 million dollars. “Golly, I thought I was worth like th...
Thursday, August 9, 2012

"So I can star in more movies," Nicolas Cage Comments on Plans to Clone Self

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Reports came in Wednesday that actor Nicolas Cage plans to clone himself so that he can take more movie roles. “There are so many r...
Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Smug College Student Thinks He Has 'Struck it Rich'

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College student Brad Stilner is confident he has struck it rich with his new idea. “Yeah, it’s like a website. I can’t say much,...
Monday, August 6, 2012

Local Man Torn Over Country Club Decision, Meanwhile Millions Starve

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          Today, while millions of starving souls across the world hungered for the smallest morsel of food, local Connecticut man Jo...
Thursday, August 2, 2012

Charles Barkley To Buy NBA Championship Ring

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          "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebo...
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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Donald Trump Buys Justin Bieber's Hair for $25 Million

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Staying in fashion costs money. Last week billionaire real estate mogul Donald Trump tried to purchase Justin Bieber’s hair fo...