50 Cent Surprised to Have Net Worth of $100 Million

Today rapper 50 Cent was surprised to discover his net worth is close to 100 million dollars. “Golly, I thought I was worth like three fiddy, maybe like four dollars at most, but one-hundred million? Oh my! I’m surprised as heck!” said the ghetto-born rapper.  

            50 Cent, or Curtis Jackson, has accumulated his massive net worth through a combination of rapping, entrepreneurship, acting, and investing. 50 Cent was very surprised to find out his hard work resulted in the earning of million of dollars.  “I was living out the whole ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ thing and I thought I would always, well, die tryin’. It was just dreadful, I couldn’t even afford a proper manicure or perm. You know I thought I was so poor I was rapping without a shirt sometimes! But look at me now! I am just happy as a child in a candy shop! Oh look at me, now I’m just blushing up like a cherry!”

            The rapper had reportedly always let his accountant, Larry Schneider, handle his finances, which he himself took little to no interest in. When Mr. Schneider informed the rapper of his wealth for the first time earlier today, which supposedly hit 50 cent harder than a slug.

            “Oh Larry you tease,” said the street-hardened rapper, “you are joshing me! 100 million dollars? No, no, no that’s a fib if I ever heard one.”

            As of now 50 Cent is on a spending spree with his friends in the shopping district of New York. Reportedly, he is also considering changing his name to something more indicative of his wealth. 

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