Tax Day & a Hot Air Balloon Ship

 Today in Butlr we examine the life of King Johnson P. Malone again. This time we catch him on tax day. He collects his dues from the other lords and millionaires of Butlr and even obtains a hot air balloon ship along the way  . . . .

Well it was that time of year again– yes, tax day. I woke up bright and early and rolled out of my gold-laced bed. Butlr Bot brought up some fried eggs, roast duck, creamed spinach, and a Bellini champagne for breakfast. I looked in the mirror as Butlr Bot dressed me. “It’s tax day, my good sir,” he said as he carefully laid my crown on my head. I replied, “It’s good to be king, Butlr.”

            My chauffeur drove me slowly through the town in my convertible Bugatti Veyron. Crowds flanked us on either side as we made our way through the town. The first person we were to call on was Duke Moly. We came outside the gates of his house. His private security force quickly recognized me and opened the solid gold gates for our car. Duke Moly was outside waiting for us. He seemed nervous.

            He yelled out, “King Malone, how do you do? I–“

            “Where’s the money, Duke Moly? I want my taxes!”

            He seemed embarrassed and after a little encounter he admitted that he had collected taxes for his land but did not have them for me. Why not you may ask? Well, he told me he had spent them all to buy a giant hot air balloon ship. He was actually millions of dollars into debt. I am a fair and understanding king and we came to a compromise. I left Duke Moly’s estate comfortably seated in my new hot air balloon ship as my chauffeur piloted in the direction of the Oshida estate.

            Now, Marquis Oshida is an odd breed of lord. His estate is characterized by the large herds of Big Game animals he has roaming it and the various celebrities that frequent it. When I arrived, Marquis Oshida was in a large Crane operating a wrecking ball, destroying a house. He had bought the small house and had it flown over to his estate. We brought the air balloon ship down, paying special attention as to dodge the swinging wrecking ball.

            “Marquis Oshida! You know what time of year it is don’t you?” I yelled.

            He got out of his crane, taking off his safety goggles and hardhat and looked at me.

            “Yes, yes, my good king. I was especially harsh and exact in collecting my taxes this year from the peasants and lower aristocracy. Here is what I owe you . . .  Now do you want that in gold bars or shillings?”

            I left that day with fat pockets. What will I do with the money? Well I’ve taken a particular liking to opera recently, maybe I will build an opera house . . . .

            Yes, life as King is good. 

Join the Butlr Aristocracy today and sketch out your millionaire fantasy today.

Portrait of a Millionaire: The artistic millionairess.

Today in Butlr’s “Portrait of a Millionaire” we feature Jewelsofawe and her millionaire dream. Jewelsofawe is an artistic lady who finds inspiration all over the world and wishes to travel the globe in search of beauty. 

Her blog can be found here: Jewelsofawe's blog

The world is a large place. There is a lot to see, almost too much. And you best believe it costs a hefty sum to see it all and see it comfortably. As a millionaire Jewelsofawe would fly, sail, and travel all over the world. She would visit places of beauty and fame and photograph all her travels, creating a beautiful photo-record of it all. Of course in her travels she would pick up would upgrade her wardrobe with the newest and most chic apparel from the shoppes of Paris. The ocean has always intrigued her sense of artistry. When not vacationing in Cannes, France or Parrot Cay or Bali, she would retire to her beach-side residence which would be designed with the most careful attention paid to aesthetics. The walls would be painted using modern tromp l’eoil—that is the wallpapers would be painted as scenes of nature and wildflowers that deceive the eye as reality upon first sight. Each room would have a different theme. The living room would depict the African Serengeti, the dining room would show a Brazilian rainforest, and the kitchen would be painted as a field of thousands of Japanese wildflowers. A tour through the house would be a tour of an art gallery, as the house would be painted with great attention and skill.

Of course on the weekend and evenings she would invite over other wealthy lords and ladies or visit their houses. Outside in her gazebo she and her friends would read and share poetry with one another over a few drinks and delicious appetizers.

This is a Portrait of a Millionaire. Do you have a millionaire dream too? Share it with us today and be featured on Portrait of a Millionaire.

Or join the Butlr aristocracy and live it out now: www.Butlr.com

Life of a Millionaire: To be rich and spend millions.

The following is an anecdote from the life of Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King). He has been featured twice before (When he bought rare animals & When he was visited by dignitaries). This time he has a yearning for seafaring. . .

It is nice to be King. None have more wealth or reputation than The King. I want to describe to you the day I bought a yacht. The price was outrageous, but that is of little concern to The King.

            The whole purchase started as a conversation. We were sitting outside in the patio, two lords and myself, The King. One of them, Sir Hemmins, was a writer and brave man with hair on his chest on arms. He was drinking a brandy that Butlr Bot had prepared. Myself and the other lord were content chilled champagne and picked at small dishes of caviar and shrimp. We were laughing at a joke Butlr Bot had just told.

            The conversation turned to Yachts. I, did not have a yacht. Sir Hemmins was taken aback. In his mind any self-respecting man of wealth had to have a yacht. He knew boats well and began to educate me on sea vessels. His enthusiasm was contagious. The other lord said, “Well gentleman, I think this means we should go shop for a yacht!”

            We stepped out of the helicopter at the yacht shop and I waved to Butlr Bot, telling him to park around back and meet us inside. The yacht shop was a large dockyard with many sleek yachts. The salesman was talkative and knowledgeable. He told us great lists of details about every yacht—their various knot-speeds, aerodynamics, hull widths, Jacuzzis, etc. I barely heard him. I could see a large modern yacht. It was about 30 yards long and one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. I had to have it.

            I looked over and Sir Hemmins (the writer) was also staring at the beauty of a boat. “Show me that one” I said.

            The inside was luxurious and as Butlr Bot whispered to me, “Tis fit for a King my master.”

            We toured it for a while, admiring its decadence and design. What a boat. At the end of the tour Sir Hemmins and I stood by the salesman.

            “I’ll take it” we said simultaneously. Sir Hemmins insisted that he had taking a great fondness to the yacht and had to buy it. He offered twice the existing price. We had a bid war, but The King always wins a bid war. Needless to say I sailed home that day, happy and content. Life as The King is good. 

 

-Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King)