Charles Barkley To Buy NBA Championship Ring

         "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."

     Charles Barkley uttered this quote about his new shoes. Another thing they never did was make Barkley win, or at least win a NBA championship. 

       Reports came last week that NBA Great Charles Barkley is trying to buy a NBA championship ring. The 11-time NBA All-Star, 1993 league MVP, 2-time Olympic Gold Medalist, and NBA hall-of-famer never won a championship in his 16 years in the league. To remedy this blemish on his career Barkley offered last Tuesday to buy a championship ring for $5,000,000. “I mean there are suckahs out there who won and ring and didn’t even make 5 mil a single season! I’m giving a ridiculous deal here.”

           

The 6-6 former power forward approached six-time champion Michael Jordan first. After repeated refusal by Jordan, Barkley continued to protest saying, “Ah c’mon Michael”. Barkley, author of several self-help books, did not give up and even sweetened the deal by adding his lifetime supply of Taco Bell 5 Dollar Boxes. Jordan still refused. Barkley did not seem capable of grasping the vast net worth of Michael Jordan and his complete numbness to money. Jordan later accepted the deal only on the terms that Barkley would also take ownership of the struggling Charlotte Bobcats to which Barkley responded, “That’s ridiculous”.

           

Wednesday morning with still no luck, Barkley turned to the rest of world. “C’mon, somebody, puh-lease!” he commented on Wednesday afternoon. Barkley reportedly said he would settle for a NCAA championship ring also.

This is how Charles Barkley lives his millionaire dream. How would you live YOUR millionaire fantasy? Find out now at Butlr.com, the Fantasy Millionaire Game.

Donald Trump Buys Justin Bieber's Hair for $25 Million

Staying in fashion costs money. Last week billionaire real estate mogul Donald Trump tried to purchase Justin Bieber’s hair for $25,000,000. Trump reportedly desired the hair to improve his image for the upcoming 2012 presidential election which he plans to run in. Trump hopes to appeal to the young teenage girl audience with the new hairdo. Assistants tried to inform Mr. Trump of the voting age, but long, flowing hair covered his ears.

“I like the hair, I really do. It’s definitely me,” remarked Trump while vainly staring in a mirror and styling it, “it definitely gets me more attention.” Since then the 66 year-old has repeatedly broken out into high-pitched singing, flipped his hair constantly during board meeting, received several record deals, and even won Teen Choice Award. “You know it’s amazing what you can do with just twenty five million dollars,” said Trump about all the changes in his life.

Trumps purchase was in part spurned by the recent firing of his old hair. Earlier last week there were reports of extended late-night meetings in Trump’s New York boardroom. Heated argument could be heard from behind the boardroom’s closed doors. The argument ended when a loud “You’re fired!” was heard. The doors then opened and a visibly disappointed red toupee left the room. A frustrated and bald Trump sat inside the room fuming.

When asked for comments after, the red toupee said, “I knew I wasn’t performing very well, but I had no idea I was about to get the bucket! I mean I covered his head just fine, and now just like this he fires me. God, how am I going to tell Marie about this, I can’t get work again not in this economy!”

            Experts had originally valued the teen sensation’s hair at only 20 million dollars, but a rival bid by balding NBA star Lebron James caused the price to jump. Trump and James reportedly entered into an aggressive bidding war. The NBA MVP backed off only after notoriously bald NBA sharpshooter Ray Allen joined his team. “Imma look real good next to that shiny head,” said James. Trump won the bid and promptly tore the beautiful mess of hair off the teen singer’s head with a smile laugh. Bieber was left bald, but twenty five million dollars richer.

            That’s one millionaire lifestyle, but how would you live yours? Fulfill your own millionaire fantasy at Butlr, the Fantasy Millionaire Game site.

3 Ways to Spend $1,000,000: Dragons, Warriors, and more

What can you do with a $1,000,000 besides buy a house, a new car, and a college education for your child? After this point the list begins to run dry for some prospective millionaires, but I am here to enliven your imagination a bit.  Here are three things you could spend a million dollars on:

Artisan Dragon Hedges $30,000

Scarecrows are out of vogue. And who’s scared of them anymore? A giant dragon hedge, however . . . now that will scare away more than just crows. You won’t have to worry about sparrows, crusading knights, OR invading armies. No real millionaire fantasy is complete without one of these. In fact a garden without one looks empty and dull.

 

Hover Scooter $13,000

Who still walks? Certainly not a millionaire with any self-worth. Right now, everybody who’s anybody, all the fashionable millionaires, travel by hover scooter. Getting from point A to point B in a stylish way now only costs $13,000! Warning: You may look slightly goofy while riding it.

A Terracotta Soldier $765,000

If your artisan dragon hedges don’t do the trick of scaring people away, then this ancient warrior sworn to protect its master will. This is the most loyal guardian a millionaire could ask for, it will even stay dedicated to your service beyond the grave. Also, it is a nice antique piece for any collection of ancient statues. 

 Interested by these fantastic items? Obtain them now and find more like them at Butlr.com, the Internet's first Fantasy Millionaire Game. 

How to Spend a Million: 3 Ways to Spend $1,000,000

The majority of us if given such a large sum of money would pay off debts, set aside college funds, and perhaps invest. But that’s dull stuff, so very dreary. So what does one do after that? Well in this post, I hope to provide you with some inspiring ways to spend money as millionaire, whether it be rocket-powered transportation, dancing under the sea, or saving lives.  

So you have a big bag of money? Well let's talk about how you will spend it . . . 

A Jetpack $99,500

The modern millionaire’s dilemma: “How do I get from one yacht to another in a quick, efficient, and stylish manner”? The answer is very simple, and only $99,500. A jetpack! The Jetlev R200 is a hydro-powered jetpack and perfect for traversing small water-filled with spaces. No millionaire fantasy is complete without it.

A Disco Aquarium Room $173,000

Another dilemma of the modern millionaire is the inevitable boredom of disco rooms. Dancing is fun for a while, but then it grows dull. You need something to entertain you while you dance. Well how about a giant aquarium? I mean what’s the fun of being rich if you cannot dance under the swimming colors of an aquarium?

A Lighthouse $73,000

A third dilemma of the modern millionaire: “How can I help the common man”? Well perhaps the best way, is guiding forlorn sailors to the safety of shore. You can purchase a lighthouse and lead a solitary existence being a beacon of hope for those lost at sea (Warning: This is a serious job. Minimal sick days are allowed. One must also possess knowledge of how to change a light bulb).

Inspired by these fantastic items? Well obtain them and find more at Butlr.com and live out your own millionaire fantasy!  

Cheers!

Who, What, When, Where, How of Buying a RollerCoaster

How do you spend $500,000 wisely these days? An flashy car is always nice, but everyone has one of those. A new house is always nice too, but you need a few million if you want a truly spectacular house. And vacations are nice, but they are far too short-lived. It seems millionaires are at a loss how to spend their money. 

But what about a rollercoaster? You don’t see many of those nowadays! Well if you are interesting in buying a rollercoaster, this will tell you everything you need to know. Rollercoasters range in price, but they usually cost around $500,000. You can find many rollercoasters online. In addition to the cost, you will need to pay for upkeep and repair (You will also need to pay a pimply kid to let people in and out of the ride and work the control panel).

But what type of Rollercoaster do you want? Are you the wild-vertical-drop-type? Or perhaps you’re more of the outrageous-twists which leave you upside down for the majority of the ride type. Or maybe you’re the crazy-twists-that-leave-you-running-for-the-nearest-trashcan type. Either way, there is a rollercoaster waiting for YOU to buy it.

In honor of wild rides and millionaires with hungers for excitement and insanity, Butlr is offering several rollercoasters for sale!

Buy one now!

11 Reasons To Hire A Butler

People do too much for themselves these days. Whether its retrieving a cooked hot pocket from a beeping microwave and missing who the killer was on CSI: Miami or having to *scoff* make your OWN breakfast in the morning, life without a butler is a shame! This is supposed to be the modern age, the age of COMFORT right? 
Well here are 11 Reasons to get a butler. 

1. So you can sit on our arse all day  and watch more television.
Think of all the great television moments you are missing while doing household chores! From the latest discovery on Storage Wars to the newest annoying commercial.

2. To make the neighbors look bad.
Be the envy of your block. The grass will indeed look greener on your side, but that's only because you will be paying someone to MAKE it green.

3. So your garden won’t die. I mean, its not like YOU were going to water it.
Remember that vegetable garden you always mused about last summer? Probably not, but your butler remembers! And he remembered to water and nurture it.

4. So people think you are more important than you actually are.
If you hire someone to do the things you don't to do, just imagine how important the things are that you DO want to do.

5. So you can get in a car and say, “Home, Jeeves”.

6. You have a greater chance of your life being turned into a sitcom.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Jetsons, etc. Life is simply more interesting with a butler.

7. To have someone shine your shoes for you.
You weren't going to shine them were you?

8. To have some trustworthy to keep your secret alter-ego as a midnight marauding vigilante hero.
Take a lesson from Batman here.

9. If you’re sick of your children you don’t have to take care of them.
Butlers are great at handling brats. Just think about all the bratty, surly, old men who have hired butlers as caretakers. Surely, they can handle your kids.

10.  Who else is going to mix you alcoholic drinks while you sit comfortably in a leather armchair and brood in front of the fireplace.

11. Because who doesn’t like British accents?


Get your own complimentary robotic Butler now at Butlr.com! 

A Millionaire's Best Friend: A Tiger

Last week Michael Jackson’s Thriller died. No, not his immortal album, that shall forever live on in pop history. Rather his pet tiger died at the age of 13. In Tiger-years that is a pretty a good, long life!

Thriller was one of many exotic pets the millionaire Jackson had at Neverland Ranch. Among the other were elephants, orangutans, giraffes, flamingos, and many rare reptiles. People speculate that Thriller was one of the more prized animals in the collection hence the name. But there is also speculation that the tiger was a zombie, also a good rationale for the name. Whatever the real reason, Thriller was a popular tiger and attracted many visitors after it was removed from Jackson’s estate.

Michael Jackson’s net worth would amount to $600 Million today. However, the millionaire should be a billionaire being worth 1.5 Billion, but the lifestyle of the rich and famous exacted a heavy toll on his estate. The costs result from luxurious living and lavish spending. Some of the costs include:

$15 Million to buy Neverland Ranch

$5 Million annually for Neverland Ranch’s upkeep

$20 Million to settle lawsuits.

$65 Million for video projects

$12 Million for divorce settlement

$500 Million of debts

And many millions spent on cars, animals, art, and other needless eccentricities. 

So all this weighs Jackson’s supposed 1.5 Billion networth down to a measly $500 million. But not bad. You can learn a lot on how to live lavishly from this millionaire. 

In honor of Thriller's death Butlr is offering the following items:

A Tiger

A Lion

Michael Jackson's Military Style Coat

The Cracker Cannon: A Powerful Weapon Against Hunger

The moment when you realize you haven’t slept, showered, breathed fresh air or heard a language besides HTML, Javascript, Flash, or CSS6 in over 36 hours. This, as I came to learn, is a Hackathon. 

This weekend Butlr.com took its wit to The Big Brand Hackathon at Madrone Studioes. A Hackathon is an odd, but delightful thing. Home Depot, Kraft, and Toblerone hosted this Hackathon, give programmers a chance to make them an app. At the competition were people of all ages and backgrounds; college kids, professionals, hackathon hobbyists, high school kids, starts-ups, a dog, and even a parrot. (We weren’t allowed to bring our Butlr Bot though! Grr). 

Butlr teamed up JamesNorman. Sleep deprivation and countless energy drinks culminated 36 hours later into a solution to hunger. A military solution. RitzCannon. It aims to solve Hunger. How so? Well the only plausible way of course—flinging Ritz crackers into hungry mouths. The game challenges users to hurl a cracker into a moving hungry mouth. Expect to see it as a wage-earning minigame on Butlr.com soon.

When eyelids were drooping, recycle bins were overflowing with every kind of energy can, and restroom lines stretched around corners, the event finally came to close and winners were announced. Butlr’s RitzCannon won ‘The People’s Choice Award’ for the app most loved by, well, the people! Don’t ever say people don’t care about stopping hunger! We left tired, stiff, and delirious. We left proud. 

A weekend well spent. Check back for more updates on Butlr’s progress. Until then, Cheers from the Butlr team!   

 

-The Butlr Team

Big Kid in a Millionaire's Shoes

A millionaire with a jaguar in his garage is not surprising. But this millionaire never drove his jaguar. Not once. But that is because he never learned how to drive. This millionaire, ironically, was quite wary of technology.

            This jaguar belonged to Ray Bradbury, science fiction behemoth, who passed away on Tuesday. Having published over two dozen novels and six-hundred short stories Bradbury pulled in quite a bit of cash, and not to mention quite a few impressionable imaginations. We have a general idea of how the rich live and spend their money, but just like his writing, Bradbury’s lifestyle and spending were—peculiar. 

            A visit to his living in Los Angeles would tell you this. As a butler I spent many hours there (As a robot I was a great admirer of Bradbury who was both like a father and great deity or legend to me). His living room was messy, very messy, but not with junk. Rather it was priceless science fiction memorabilia—a life-size model of the original Dracula looms over your chair, a scale model of the USS Voyager sits across the room, a scrapbook of every original Buck Rogers cartoon strip is buried other books, and a Hugo award stands to your left with clothing draped over it. All around you what seems carelessly placed junk is actually a museum of the history of science fiction and fantasy. 

            You can buy your very own Bradbury-esque USS Voyager model Here.

            Ray Bradbury was a rare kind of man, and a rarer kind of millionaire. He was big kid who had never really grown up. A man with a true passion and childish infatuation. His lover? Well, science fiction of course.

            May master Bradbury rest in peace.

Tax Day & a Hot Air Balloon Ship

 Today in Butlr we examine the life of King Johnson P. Malone again. This time we catch him on tax day. He collects his dues from the other lords and millionaires of Butlr and even obtains a hot air balloon ship along the way  . . . .

Well it was that time of year again– yes, tax day. I woke up bright and early and rolled out of my gold-laced bed. Butlr Bot brought up some fried eggs, roast duck, creamed spinach, and a Bellini champagne for breakfast. I looked in the mirror as Butlr Bot dressed me. “It’s tax day, my good sir,” he said as he carefully laid my crown on my head. I replied, “It’s good to be king, Butlr.”

            My chauffeur drove me slowly through the town in my convertible Bugatti Veyron. Crowds flanked us on either side as we made our way through the town. The first person we were to call on was Duke Moly. We came outside the gates of his house. His private security force quickly recognized me and opened the solid gold gates for our car. Duke Moly was outside waiting for us. He seemed nervous.

            He yelled out, “King Malone, how do you do? I–“

            “Where’s the money, Duke Moly? I want my taxes!”

            He seemed embarrassed and after a little encounter he admitted that he had collected taxes for his land but did not have them for me. Why not you may ask? Well, he told me he had spent them all to buy a giant hot air balloon ship. He was actually millions of dollars into debt. I am a fair and understanding king and we came to a compromise. I left Duke Moly’s estate comfortably seated in my new hot air balloon ship as my chauffeur piloted in the direction of the Oshida estate.

            Now, Marquis Oshida is an odd breed of lord. His estate is characterized by the large herds of Big Game animals he has roaming it and the various celebrities that frequent it. When I arrived, Marquis Oshida was in a large Crane operating a wrecking ball, destroying a house. He had bought the small house and had it flown over to his estate. We brought the air balloon ship down, paying special attention as to dodge the swinging wrecking ball.

            “Marquis Oshida! You know what time of year it is don’t you?” I yelled.

            He got out of his crane, taking off his safety goggles and hardhat and looked at me.

            “Yes, yes, my good king. I was especially harsh and exact in collecting my taxes this year from the peasants and lower aristocracy. Here is what I owe you . . .  Now do you want that in gold bars or shillings?”

            I left that day with fat pockets. What will I do with the money? Well I’ve taken a particular liking to opera recently, maybe I will build an opera house . . . .

            Yes, life as King is good. 

Join the Butlr Aristocracy today and sketch out your millionaire fantasy today.

Portrait of a Millionaire: The artistic millionairess.

Today in Butlr’s “Portrait of a Millionaire” we feature Jewelsofawe and her millionaire dream. Jewelsofawe is an artistic lady who finds inspiration all over the world and wishes to travel the globe in search of beauty. 

Her blog can be found here: Jewelsofawe's blog

The world is a large place. There is a lot to see, almost too much. And you best believe it costs a hefty sum to see it all and see it comfortably. As a millionaire Jewelsofawe would fly, sail, and travel all over the world. She would visit places of beauty and fame and photograph all her travels, creating a beautiful photo-record of it all. Of course in her travels she would pick up would upgrade her wardrobe with the newest and most chic apparel from the shoppes of Paris. The ocean has always intrigued her sense of artistry. When not vacationing in Cannes, France or Parrot Cay or Bali, she would retire to her beach-side residence which would be designed with the most careful attention paid to aesthetics. The walls would be painted using modern tromp l’eoil—that is the wallpapers would be painted as scenes of nature and wildflowers that deceive the eye as reality upon first sight. Each room would have a different theme. The living room would depict the African Serengeti, the dining room would show a Brazilian rainforest, and the kitchen would be painted as a field of thousands of Japanese wildflowers. A tour through the house would be a tour of an art gallery, as the house would be painted with great attention and skill.

Of course on the weekend and evenings she would invite over other wealthy lords and ladies or visit their houses. Outside in her gazebo she and her friends would read and share poetry with one another over a few drinks and delicious appetizers.

This is a Portrait of a Millionaire. Do you have a millionaire dream too? Share it with us today and be featured on Portrait of a Millionaire.

Or join the Butlr aristocracy and live it out now: www.Butlr.com

A Day in the life of a King

Today is another anecdote from the exciting and luxurious life of Johnson P. Malone, Butlr King. This is a small glimpse into the life of a Butlr King and the daily duties he must fulfill.

You know its tough being King sometimes. It’s tough being top dog. And being wealthy. And having expensive, refined taste. Everyone wants a piece of the King. Oh, I don’t mean to complain, but just today for example Butlr Bot woke me up saying there were several visiting dignitaries that wanted to meet with me (In reality I knew they probably just wanted to see my late Renaissance art collection).

It turned out to be Sir Galvini DeNegalli, a young dashing Italian prince. He had with him a large, robust opera singer and the Prima Donna ballerina from the Moscow Ballet Company. With them was also an international banker with a taste for Cognac. I felt obliged to take them all for walk around the island. I showed them the hanging gardens I had recreated last fall and my statue garden. The Prima Donna was especially enamored with one of the Easter Island heads but I told it was not for sale. (I didn’t want to break her heart by actually telling the price of such a treasure!). 

We had some drinks outside the house in the crystal gazebo. Butlr Bot served us cocktails and caviar. We all had cosmopolitans except for the banker who had cognac served dry. He ate many of the caviar also. We discussed the death of the novel and the hottest new lords in the land– the fat Italian tenor finished the afternoon with a grand and booming performance of Verdi.

            I gave them a hasty tour of my Da Vincis and Rafaels and then bid them farewell from the pier as they my yacht drifted away with them waving from the deck. I exhaustively went back inside and sat down on my velvet revolving couch.

            A long day! I cannot wait until I can just enjoy the company of my pet leopard and go to sleep in my King-size bed.    

                        -Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King)

Join the Butlr Aristocracy now and live out your own millionaire fantasy: www.butlr.com