50 Cent Surprised to Have Net Worth of $100 Million

Today rapper 50 Cent was surprised to discover his net worth is close to 100 million dollars. “Golly, I thought I was worth like three fiddy, maybe like four dollars at most, but one-hundred million? Oh my! I’m surprised as heck!” said the ghetto-born rapper.  

            50 Cent, or Curtis Jackson, has accumulated his massive net worth through a combination of rapping, entrepreneurship, acting, and investing. 50 Cent was very surprised to find out his hard work resulted in the earning of million of dollars.  “I was living out the whole ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ thing and I thought I would always, well, die tryin’. It was just dreadful, I couldn’t even afford a proper manicure or perm. You know I thought I was so poor I was rapping without a shirt sometimes! But look at me now! I am just happy as a child in a candy shop! Oh look at me, now I’m just blushing up like a cherry!”

            The rapper had reportedly always let his accountant, Larry Schneider, handle his finances, which he himself took little to no interest in. When Mr. Schneider informed the rapper of his wealth for the first time earlier today, which supposedly hit 50 cent harder than a slug.

            “Oh Larry you tease,” said the street-hardened rapper, “you are joshing me! 100 million dollars? No, no, no that’s a fib if I ever heard one.”

            As of now 50 Cent is on a spending spree with his friends in the shopping district of New York. Reportedly, he is also considering changing his name to something more indicative of his wealth. 

How would you live if you discovered you were worth $100 million? Find out now at Butlr.com, the Fantasy Millionaire Game! 

Smug College Student Thinks He Has 'Struck it Rich'

College student Brad Stilner is confident he has struck it rich with his new idea. “Yeah, it’s like a website. I can’t say much, it’s still like in the brainstorming phase” said the arrogant teen as he stuffed Doritos into his mouth while sitting on his La-Z-Boy sofa. The student provided no details on the implementation or design of his idea.

“Yup I got a pretty good idea. I’ll be the next Instagram,” smugly said the student while playing the latest Call of Duty. “It’s going to be huge,” he said as he simultaneously placed more Doritos into his mouth.

The young student’s mother was very proud when informed her son had ‘the next big idea’. “He’s always been like that, thinking up ideas! Once I told him to eat his vegetables because there were starving kids in Africa. And you know what he said,? He said ‘It’s not like we could get the vegetables there very easily’. What a smart boy he is, always thinking!”

Although the idea is still completely undeveloped and without any proof that it will work, investors have already started evaluating it. One venture capitalist firm has displayed significant interest in it. “We believe firmly in the success of Brad’s idea. The internet is huge these days and if he says he might do something involving it . . . well, we want in on it.”

When asked about the pressure for him to succeed with his idea Brad responded, “What? My Idea? What are you talking . . . oh yeah, that idea. Yeah, yeah. I’ll get on that soon.”

Friends of the smug and confident teen say they have definitely noticed a change of demeanor in their young, entrepreneuring friend. Reports came in that Brad now wears slightly nicer clothes, slicks his hair back, and is even more dismissive of people than before.

“I’ll have to get ready for my public offering, you know like look good and all. I’ve also kept some notes for when they make a movie about the founding of my company . . . Who do you think will play me? I hope not its not one of those Twilight actors . . .”

Friends and family are still waiting to hear the next big idea which the cocky student claims, “ Is gonna be huge” but as of now he is still waiting for his hot pocket to heat up and for the next round of Team Deathmatch to begin.


Brad is rich now, but why not be rich yourself? Live out a fantasy life as a millionaire at Butlr.com, the Fantasy Millionaire Game!

Local Man Torn Over Country Club Decision, Meanwhile Millions Starve

          Today, while millions of starving souls across the world hungered for the smallest morsel of food, local Connecticut man Johnson Malone pondered which country club to join: The snooty Green Haven or the ‘old money’ Golden Acres. 

    “The steak tartare is really just excellent at Golden Acres, although they do mix rather a weak Manhattan.” commented Malone, a man of thirty-six who has spent years kissing asses and saying he likes it to climb the salary ladder of a local law firm.  While countless tales of unbearable human misery unraveled across the globe, Malone, who has always been a logical man, calmly mulled over a mental list of the pros and cons of each club.

“Well I suppose Mr. Walterson is in Golden Acres, but Green Haven has a 4^th of July social ball that is simply to die for,” he said as thousands across the globe suffered in bleary-eyed, hunger-driven fevers.

“But the little weenie hor d'oeuvres are superb at Golden Acres,” whined Malone, “Hmmm, this is going to be a tough one.” Malone spent the early morning debating whether with proper boiling he could eat the rubber sole of his shoe. The Writer’s mistake, rather that was a diseased and emaciated man in Southern India, Malone spent the morning waiting in a coffee line that he silently and angrily declared, ‘too long’, while he pondered whether Green Haven provided club golf shoes or if members were expected to bring their own. “Bringing a big gym bag around with an extra pair of shoes will be a real hassle,” he commented.

Later, as millions doubted the possibility of breakfast the next morning, Malone worried whether the Golden Acres Dining Club had a buffet-style breakfast. “I quite like the portions of a buffet, but I always worry that the chefs might compromise quality for quantity in that situation,” commented Malone as he sped along in his Mercedes.

As of now, Malone is still debating which club to join. Sources say he is leaning towards Golden Acres, but that he is ‘not sure’.

How would YOU live as a millionaire? Would you join a country club? Buy a Ferrari? Take a trip to Paris? Sketch out your own millionaire lifestyle now! 

How to Spend a Million: 3 Ways to Spend $1,000,000

The majority of us if given such a large sum of money would pay off debts, set aside college funds, and perhaps invest. But that’s dull stuff, so very dreary. So what does one do after that? Well in this post, I hope to provide you with some inspiring ways to spend money as millionaire, whether it be rocket-powered transportation, dancing under the sea, or saving lives.  

So you have a big bag of money? Well let's talk about how you will spend it . . . 

A Jetpack $99,500

The modern millionaire’s dilemma: “How do I get from one yacht to another in a quick, efficient, and stylish manner”? The answer is very simple, and only $99,500. A jetpack! The Jetlev R200 is a hydro-powered jetpack and perfect for traversing small water-filled with spaces. No millionaire fantasy is complete without it.

A Disco Aquarium Room $173,000

Another dilemma of the modern millionaire is the inevitable boredom of disco rooms. Dancing is fun for a while, but then it grows dull. You need something to entertain you while you dance. Well how about a giant aquarium? I mean what’s the fun of being rich if you cannot dance under the swimming colors of an aquarium?

A Lighthouse $73,000

A third dilemma of the modern millionaire: “How can I help the common man”? Well perhaps the best way, is guiding forlorn sailors to the safety of shore. You can purchase a lighthouse and lead a solitary existence being a beacon of hope for those lost at sea (Warning: This is a serious job. Minimal sick days are allowed. One must also possess knowledge of how to change a light bulb).

Inspired by these fantastic items? Well obtain them and find more at Butlr.com and live out your own millionaire fantasy!  

Cheers!

Who, What, When, Where, How of Buying a RollerCoaster

How do you spend $500,000 wisely these days? An flashy car is always nice, but everyone has one of those. A new house is always nice too, but you need a few million if you want a truly spectacular house. And vacations are nice, but they are far too short-lived. It seems millionaires are at a loss how to spend their money. 

But what about a rollercoaster? You don’t see many of those nowadays! Well if you are interesting in buying a rollercoaster, this will tell you everything you need to know. Rollercoasters range in price, but they usually cost around $500,000. You can find many rollercoasters online. In addition to the cost, you will need to pay for upkeep and repair (You will also need to pay a pimply kid to let people in and out of the ride and work the control panel).

But what type of Rollercoaster do you want? Are you the wild-vertical-drop-type? Or perhaps you’re more of the outrageous-twists which leave you upside down for the majority of the ride type. Or maybe you’re the crazy-twists-that-leave-you-running-for-the-nearest-trashcan type. Either way, there is a rollercoaster waiting for YOU to buy it.

In honor of wild rides and millionaires with hungers for excitement and insanity, Butlr is offering several rollercoasters for sale!

Buy one now!

11 Reasons To Hire A Butler

People do too much for themselves these days. Whether its retrieving a cooked hot pocket from a beeping microwave and missing who the killer was on CSI: Miami or having to *scoff* make your OWN breakfast in the morning, life without a butler is a shame! This is supposed to be the modern age, the age of COMFORT right? 
Well here are 11 Reasons to get a butler. 

1. So you can sit on our arse all day  and watch more television.
Think of all the great television moments you are missing while doing household chores! From the latest discovery on Storage Wars to the newest annoying commercial.

2. To make the neighbors look bad.
Be the envy of your block. The grass will indeed look greener on your side, but that's only because you will be paying someone to MAKE it green.

3. So your garden won’t die. I mean, its not like YOU were going to water it.
Remember that vegetable garden you always mused about last summer? Probably not, but your butler remembers! And he remembered to water and nurture it.

4. So people think you are more important than you actually are.
If you hire someone to do the things you don't to do, just imagine how important the things are that you DO want to do.

5. So you can get in a car and say, “Home, Jeeves”.

6. You have a greater chance of your life being turned into a sitcom.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Jetsons, etc. Life is simply more interesting with a butler.

7. To have someone shine your shoes for you.
You weren't going to shine them were you?

8. To have some trustworthy to keep your secret alter-ego as a midnight marauding vigilante hero.
Take a lesson from Batman here.

9. If you’re sick of your children you don’t have to take care of them.
Butlers are great at handling brats. Just think about all the bratty, surly, old men who have hired butlers as caretakers. Surely, they can handle your kids.

10.  Who else is going to mix you alcoholic drinks while you sit comfortably in a leather armchair and brood in front of the fireplace.

11. Because who doesn’t like British accents?


Get your own complimentary robotic Butler now at Butlr.com! 

A Millionaire's Best Friend: A Tiger

Last week Michael Jackson’s Thriller died. No, not his immortal album, that shall forever live on in pop history. Rather his pet tiger died at the age of 13. In Tiger-years that is a pretty a good, long life!

Thriller was one of many exotic pets the millionaire Jackson had at Neverland Ranch. Among the other were elephants, orangutans, giraffes, flamingos, and many rare reptiles. People speculate that Thriller was one of the more prized animals in the collection hence the name. But there is also speculation that the tiger was a zombie, also a good rationale for the name. Whatever the real reason, Thriller was a popular tiger and attracted many visitors after it was removed from Jackson’s estate.

Michael Jackson’s net worth would amount to $600 Million today. However, the millionaire should be a billionaire being worth 1.5 Billion, but the lifestyle of the rich and famous exacted a heavy toll on his estate. The costs result from luxurious living and lavish spending. Some of the costs include:

$15 Million to buy Neverland Ranch

$5 Million annually for Neverland Ranch’s upkeep

$20 Million to settle lawsuits.

$65 Million for video projects

$12 Million for divorce settlement

$500 Million of debts

And many millions spent on cars, animals, art, and other needless eccentricities. 

So all this weighs Jackson’s supposed 1.5 Billion networth down to a measly $500 million. But not bad. You can learn a lot on how to live lavishly from this millionaire. 

In honor of Thriller's death Butlr is offering the following items:

A Tiger

A Lion

Michael Jackson's Military Style Coat

The Cracker Cannon: A Powerful Weapon Against Hunger

The moment when you realize you haven’t slept, showered, breathed fresh air or heard a language besides HTML, Javascript, Flash, or CSS6 in over 36 hours. This, as I came to learn, is a Hackathon. 

This weekend Butlr.com took its wit to The Big Brand Hackathon at Madrone Studioes. A Hackathon is an odd, but delightful thing. Home Depot, Kraft, and Toblerone hosted this Hackathon, give programmers a chance to make them an app. At the competition were people of all ages and backgrounds; college kids, professionals, hackathon hobbyists, high school kids, starts-ups, a dog, and even a parrot. (We weren’t allowed to bring our Butlr Bot though! Grr). 

Butlr teamed up JamesNorman. Sleep deprivation and countless energy drinks culminated 36 hours later into a solution to hunger. A military solution. RitzCannon. It aims to solve Hunger. How so? Well the only plausible way of course—flinging Ritz crackers into hungry mouths. The game challenges users to hurl a cracker into a moving hungry mouth. Expect to see it as a wage-earning minigame on Butlr.com soon.

When eyelids were drooping, recycle bins were overflowing with every kind of energy can, and restroom lines stretched around corners, the event finally came to close and winners were announced. Butlr’s RitzCannon won ‘The People’s Choice Award’ for the app most loved by, well, the people! Don’t ever say people don’t care about stopping hunger! We left tired, stiff, and delirious. We left proud. 

A weekend well spent. Check back for more updates on Butlr’s progress. Until then, Cheers from the Butlr team!   

 

-The Butlr Team

Portrait of a Millionaire: The artistic millionairess.

Today in Butlr’s “Portrait of a Millionaire” we feature Jewelsofawe and her millionaire dream. Jewelsofawe is an artistic lady who finds inspiration all over the world and wishes to travel the globe in search of beauty. 

Her blog can be found here: Jewelsofawe's blog

The world is a large place. There is a lot to see, almost too much. And you best believe it costs a hefty sum to see it all and see it comfortably. As a millionaire Jewelsofawe would fly, sail, and travel all over the world. She would visit places of beauty and fame and photograph all her travels, creating a beautiful photo-record of it all. Of course in her travels she would pick up would upgrade her wardrobe with the newest and most chic apparel from the shoppes of Paris. The ocean has always intrigued her sense of artistry. When not vacationing in Cannes, France or Parrot Cay or Bali, she would retire to her beach-side residence which would be designed with the most careful attention paid to aesthetics. The walls would be painted using modern tromp l’eoil—that is the wallpapers would be painted as scenes of nature and wildflowers that deceive the eye as reality upon first sight. Each room would have a different theme. The living room would depict the African Serengeti, the dining room would show a Brazilian rainforest, and the kitchen would be painted as a field of thousands of Japanese wildflowers. A tour through the house would be a tour of an art gallery, as the house would be painted with great attention and skill.

Of course on the weekend and evenings she would invite over other wealthy lords and ladies or visit their houses. Outside in her gazebo she and her friends would read and share poetry with one another over a few drinks and delicious appetizers.

This is a Portrait of a Millionaire. Do you have a millionaire dream too? Share it with us today and be featured on Portrait of a Millionaire.

Or join the Butlr aristocracy and live it out now: www.Butlr.com

Life of a Millionaire: To be rich and spend millions.

The following is an anecdote from the life of Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King). He has been featured twice before (When he bought rare animals & When he was visited by dignitaries). This time he has a yearning for seafaring. . .

It is nice to be King. None have more wealth or reputation than The King. I want to describe to you the day I bought a yacht. The price was outrageous, but that is of little concern to The King.

            The whole purchase started as a conversation. We were sitting outside in the patio, two lords and myself, The King. One of them, Sir Hemmins, was a writer and brave man with hair on his chest on arms. He was drinking a brandy that Butlr Bot had prepared. Myself and the other lord were content chilled champagne and picked at small dishes of caviar and shrimp. We were laughing at a joke Butlr Bot had just told.

            The conversation turned to Yachts. I, did not have a yacht. Sir Hemmins was taken aback. In his mind any self-respecting man of wealth had to have a yacht. He knew boats well and began to educate me on sea vessels. His enthusiasm was contagious. The other lord said, “Well gentleman, I think this means we should go shop for a yacht!”

            We stepped out of the helicopter at the yacht shop and I waved to Butlr Bot, telling him to park around back and meet us inside. The yacht shop was a large dockyard with many sleek yachts. The salesman was talkative and knowledgeable. He told us great lists of details about every yacht—their various knot-speeds, aerodynamics, hull widths, Jacuzzis, etc. I barely heard him. I could see a large modern yacht. It was about 30 yards long and one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. I had to have it.

            I looked over and Sir Hemmins (the writer) was also staring at the beauty of a boat. “Show me that one” I said.

            The inside was luxurious and as Butlr Bot whispered to me, “Tis fit for a King my master.”

            We toured it for a while, admiring its decadence and design. What a boat. At the end of the tour Sir Hemmins and I stood by the salesman.

            “I’ll take it” we said simultaneously. Sir Hemmins insisted that he had taking a great fondness to the yacht and had to buy it. He offered twice the existing price. We had a bid war, but The King always wins a bid war. Needless to say I sailed home that day, happy and content. Life as The King is good. 

 

-Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King) 

A Day in the life of a King

Today is another anecdote from the exciting and luxurious life of Johnson P. Malone, Butlr King. This is a small glimpse into the life of a Butlr King and the daily duties he must fulfill.

You know its tough being King sometimes. It’s tough being top dog. And being wealthy. And having expensive, refined taste. Everyone wants a piece of the King. Oh, I don’t mean to complain, but just today for example Butlr Bot woke me up saying there were several visiting dignitaries that wanted to meet with me (In reality I knew they probably just wanted to see my late Renaissance art collection).

It turned out to be Sir Galvini DeNegalli, a young dashing Italian prince. He had with him a large, robust opera singer and the Prima Donna ballerina from the Moscow Ballet Company. With them was also an international banker with a taste for Cognac. I felt obliged to take them all for walk around the island. I showed them the hanging gardens I had recreated last fall and my statue garden. The Prima Donna was especially enamored with one of the Easter Island heads but I told it was not for sale. (I didn’t want to break her heart by actually telling the price of such a treasure!). 

We had some drinks outside the house in the crystal gazebo. Butlr Bot served us cocktails and caviar. We all had cosmopolitans except for the banker who had cognac served dry. He ate many of the caviar also. We discussed the death of the novel and the hottest new lords in the land– the fat Italian tenor finished the afternoon with a grand and booming performance of Verdi.

            I gave them a hasty tour of my Da Vincis and Rafaels and then bid them farewell from the pier as they my yacht drifted away with them waving from the deck. I exhaustively went back inside and sat down on my velvet revolving couch.

            A long day! I cannot wait until I can just enjoy the company of my pet leopard and go to sleep in my King-size bed.    

                        -Johnson P. Malone (Butlr King)

Join the Butlr Aristocracy now and live out your own millionaire fantasy: www.butlr.com

 

Exotic animals dealer

The following is a personal anecdote from Johnson Malone, a powerful and well-respected King in Butlr. I, his lowly mechanical manservant, his 'robotic butler' has taken the liberty of transcribing it for him and publishing it on the net for his various admirers to read. It is a glimpse into the life of a royalty– rich, famous, and living the dream.

I woke up this morning to the gentle chirping of my Micronesian Kingfisher birds outside my window. I bought them yesterday for a hefty price from a rare and exotic animals dealer named Girabaldi. He was a funny, mustached man who specializes in exotic birds. Normally he doesn’t make house calls, especially to private islands, but he made an exception for me when I offered to fly him over in my new RAH-66 Comanche helicopter.

You know, rare animal dealers are an odd breed. When speaking with Girabaldi I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to deal in the rare and exotic animals. It’s funny, I began to think of the odd requests he must get and the all the bizarre locations he must go to gather up his inventory. During the conversation he mentioned trips to Ecuador, Brazil, and Somalia to capture specific species of birds. It was hard to imagine this little mustached fellow tramping through rainforests and jungle, tracking down rare birds. Anyways, it all made me think maybe I’d like to try my hand at rare animal dealing. I asked (my) Butlr Bot what he thought of it the idea; he told me it was easily possible and booked me a trip to the Brazilian rainforests and hired a group of world renown poachers to help me track, capture, (but not kill!) the rare animals I desire. I think first I will go for a Capuchin Monkey . . . 

-Johnson P. Malone (King in Butlr) 

Sketch out your own millionaire fantasy. Join the Butlr aristocracy now