Monday, July 2, 2012

11 Reasons To Hire A Butler

People do too much for themselves these days. Whether its retrieving a cooked hot pocket from a beeping microwave and missing who the killer was on CSI: Miami or having to *scoff* make your OWN breakfast in the morning, life without a butler is a shame! This is supposed to be the modern age, the age of COMFORT right
Well here are 11 Reasons to get a butler. 

1. So you can sit on our arse all day  and watch more television.
Think of all the great television moments you are missing while doing household chores! From the latest discovery on Storage Wars to the newest annoying commercial.

2. To make the neighbors look bad.
Be the envy of your block. The grass will indeed look greener on your side, but that's only because you will be paying someone to MAKE it green.

3. So your garden won’t die. I mean, its not like YOU were going to water it.
Remember that vegetable garden you always mused about last summer? Probably not, but your butler remembers! And he remembered to water and nurture it.

4. So people think you are more important than you actually are.
If you hire someone to do the things you don't to do, just imagine how important the things are that you DO want to do.

5. So you can get in a car and say, “Home, Jeeves”.

6. You have a greater chance of your life being turned into a sitcom.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Jetsons, etc. Life is simply more interesting with a butler.

7. To have someone shine your shoes for you.
You weren't going to shine them were you?

8. To have some trustworthy to keep your secret alter-ego as a midnight marauding vigilante hero.
Take a lesson from Batman here.

9. If you’re sick of your children you don’t have to take care of them.

Butlers are great at handling brats. Just think about all the bratty, surly, old men who have hired butlers as caretakers. Surely, they can handle your kids.

10.  Who else is going to mix you alcoholic drinks while you sit comfortably in a leather armchair and brood in front of the fireplace.

11. Because who doesn’t like British accents?

Get your own complimentary robotic Butler now at! 

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